Beginnings of The Longing Path

From Transitions to Longings

It really started over 20 years ago. I’m a psychologist by background, and at the time, I was working with people who were in transition—either in their work, relationships, or loss. Those transitions activated deeper questions about life and longing. People wanted their lives to be more engaged with the things that mattered to them. This led me on a quest to better understand the longing path and what happens when people lose touch with their longings versus pursue them.

Tracking Longing

Truth be told, I understand the winding nature of this path—how it moves us through hope, indifference, doubt, and everything between. In a culture that idolizes success and visible progress, when someone feels lost or stuck, they tend to keep it hidden. Yet through research, group work, and personal experience, I’ve learned that, alongside support, developing practices to foster a vibrant relationship with our longings is vital for living into what matters.

The research I conducted was illuminating and helped me fine-tune The Longing Path. What I’ve found is that our longings rarely travel in straight lines. They wander. They circle back. Sometimes they vanish for a while, leaving us unsure, disheartened, or even indifferent. We can easily find ourselves searching for the perfect formula—a neat three-step plan to fulfill our deepest longings—but such plans rarely hold up in the complex landscape of everyday life.

Some key pieces I learned from people I interviewed:

• For longings that have not unfolded as imagined, people experienced discouragement, failure, shame, embarrassment, and thoughts like “what’s wrong with me?”

• Despite this, people remained connected to their longing and wanted reassurance that their experience was normal—that they were not alone.

• People wanted to know that it’s okay not to have everything worked out.

• People described the longing path as being like a wilderness—you don’t always know where you’re heading.

• And still, people continued to ask questions like:

• “What’s one step I can take?”,

• “How do I discern my longings?”,

• “How do I translate my longings into a vision for my life?”,

• “How can I honour my longings when they’re off-track or burdensome?” etc.

The Winding Path of Longings

What people emphasized was the need to know that walking the path of longing doesn’t always go the way you hoped—and that having support along the way is key. Contrary to what I sometimes hear, people want to talk about their longings. One reason they don’t is that they feel judged by cultural expectations that glorify success. This can leave people feeling like they are somehow the reason why their longings don’t unfold as hoped. People wanted to know how to live with longings that don’t have a clear path for engaging them.

Our Relationship to Longing

One of the key things I learned is how pivotal our relationship with our longings is for bringing what matters into our daily lives. Whether our longings evolve in our hoped-for direction or not, so much of our response depends on our relationship and conversation with them. What’s critical are the practices that help us stay in relationship with longing itself—the ways we return, reorient, and begin again when things feel uncertain or when we feel disconnected. These practices keep us close to what matters, even when progress seems unclear or counterproductive. They help us meet our longings with curiosity and grace rather than pressure or self-judgment.

To reiterate, at The Longing Path, our focus is on helping people cultivate a daily practice of being in conversation with their longings. Our aim is to support you in engaging your longings in ways that connect you to what matters, even as life changes unpredictably.

The key takeaway: regularly engaging with your longings brings meaning and direction amid the uncertainties of life.

I hope you’ll join me on this path.

Bernadette Barton

Founder of The Longing Path